I recently became a proud first time father of a daughter named Arianna. Since becoming a father, I have spent time reading about being a parent. I am currently reading a classic book by Dr. James Dobson titled "The Strong Willed Child." He list six guidelines that must be used to shape a child's will. I believe that these guidelines are applicable to players today, here they are:
1. Define the Boundaries Before They Are Enforced.
The child should know what is and what is not acceptable behavior before he or she is held responsible for those rules. This precondition will eliminate the overwhelming sense of injustice that a youngster feels when disciplined for their accidents, mistakes, and blunders. If you haven't defined it-don't enforce it!!
2. When Defiantly Challenged, Respond with Confident Decisiveness.
When that nose-to-nose confrontation occurs between generations, it is extremely important for the adult to win decisively and confidently. When the parent consistently loses those battles, resorting to screaming and other evidence of frustration, some dramatic changes take place in the way they are "seen" by their children. Instead of being secure and confident leaders, they become spineless jelly fish who are unworthy of respect or allegiance
3. Distinguish between Willful Defiance and Childish Irresponsibility.
A child should not be disciplined for behavior that is not willfully defiant. Be gentle as you teach them to do better. If they fail to respond to your patient instruction, it then becomes appropriate to administer some well-defined consequences.
4. Reassure and Teach After the Confrontation is Over.
After a time of conflict during which a parent has demonstrated their right to lead, the youngster between to and seven may want to be loved and reassured. Hold them close and tell them of your love. Rock him gently and let him know, again, why he was punished and how he can avoid the trouble next time. This moment of communication builds love, fidelity, and family unity.
5. Avoid Impossible Demands
Be absolutely sure that your child is capable of delivering what you require.
6. Let Love Be Your Guide!
A relationship that is characterized by genuine love and affection is likely to be a healthy one, even though some parental mistakes and errors are inevitable.
