Greatest Tryout, Ever.

You want to know when a sports league is so full of money, so full of it's own nonsense, and so utterly bored due to a lack of real threats to its existence (other than, of course concussion lawsuits, but the lawyers are cracking on that one, so what else do WE have to do these days?).

When it invites club soccer chicks to "try out" for the league. That's when.

Thankfully, the sports gods were NOT amused, and they smote down one Lauren Silberman with a vengeance.

Two kicks. 19 and 13 yards, then an injury.

Mind you, had Silberman played low-level football (say, NAIA) in college, and had some track record as a kicker, I would be somewhat charitable in this otherwise stupid attempt to be a gender warrior for the left in this country.

But no, she didn't just try out, she ran her mouth full of stupid.

Things like...

"I can kick a 60 yarder."

''I've always been an athlete, and I've always been a gamer,'' she said, her eyes tearing up. ''When I had the opportunity to be in the NFL, one of the world's most competitive leagues, I absolutely had to take the chance.''

"I was not aware that I was the first female registrant," she said in mid-February. "I was actually hoping that the 2012 historical milestone rule, to allow women to play, would prompt more women to attend tryouts this year."

''You know, the distance wasn't there, but hopefully the scouts will notice my technique,'' she said. ''It's not always length.''

''I would certainly be very, very excited and happy if I had the opportunity to try again,'' she said, ''but it's not up to me. It's up to the scouts.''


Go away, you annoying yenta.

Given that a woman's leg strength will struggle be equal to or greater than that of a comparable man, she would have to employ some incredible kicking-auto-matic-a technique to NEVER miss a kick under say 40 yards. And even then, you would need to carry a second kicker on the roster for long attempts and kickoffs...

... wait, holy shit! They tricked me! I am actually giving this notion TWO FUCKING SECONDS OF THOUGHT! God, I am idiot.

Here I fixed it........

"A WOMAN will never play in the NFL, because there is not now, nor will there ever be, a shortage of athletically skilled MEN who are lining up to play in the NFL, and each and every one of them will have a genetic advantage that is so significant it will render any female version of an NFL player inherently INFERIOR upon first contact."

Too bad I don't have a vagina or a pony-tail, maybe the NFL would invite me. But I guess a bald 44 year old radio host with PVC goalposts in his backyard and CAN actually kick a 35 yarder isn't much of  a "story".

Now for your enjoyment, two better ideas than Laura Silberman: Club soccer chick as NFL kicker.








Title: The Pinnacle of Trials: Unraveling the Tale of the Greatest Tryout Ever



The world of sports is replete with stories of underdogs rising to the occasion and defying the odds. Among these tales, one stands out as a testament to perseverance, determination, and the indomitable human spirit—the story of the greatest tryout ever. In this article, we dive into the captivating narrative of this remarkable event, exploring the backdrop, the protagonists, and the enduring lessons it imparts. Join us on a journey through triumph and inspiration that continues to resonate with athletes and enthusiasts alike.

The Setting: A Defining Moment in Sports History

The backdrop for the greatest tryout ever was not a grand stadium or an opulent arena, but a modest venue that would forever be etched in the annals of sports history.

1. A Chance at Greatness: In an era marked by economic challenges and limited opportunities, the tryout presented a glimmer of hope for aspiring athletes eager to showcase their talents.

2. An Open Invitation: The tryout wasn't exclusive to athletes with pedigrees or affiliations. It was an open invitation for anyone with a dream, irrespective of background or experience.

3. The Spirit of Inclusion: The tryout was a reminder that talent and determination could transcend socioeconomic barriers, offering a chance for individuals to write their own narratives.

The Protagonists: Dreams, Determination, and a Dazzling Display of Skill

The greatest tryout ever was distinguished not only by the sheer number of participants but also by the exceptional talent on display.

1. A Diverse Array of Participants: Athletes from various walks of life converged for the tryout, each fueled by their own aspirations and the prospect of realizing their dreams.

2. The Remarkable Showcase: The day of the tryout was characterized by a dazzling display of skill, as participants left no stone unturned in their pursuit of recognition.

3. A Select Few Shine: Amid the sea of talent, a select few athletes distinguished themselves, capturing the attention of onlookers and scouts alike.

Enduring Lessons from the Greatest Tryout Ever

The story of the greatest tryout ever resonates far beyond the realm of sports, offering valuable lessons applicable to various aspects of life.

1. The Power of Opportunity: The tryout underscores the significance of offering opportunities to individuals irrespective of their backgrounds, reminding us of the potential waiting to be unlocked.

2. Perseverance Pays Off: The journey to success is often fraught with challenges, but those who persevere and refuse to give up can achieve greatness against all odds.

3. Embracing Diversity: The tryout celebrates diversity and inclusivity, highlighting the wealth of talent that exists across different communities.

4. Writing Your Own Story: In a world that often dictates limitations, the greatest tryout ever showcases the ability of individuals to seize control of their destinies and write their own narratives.

Frequently Asked Questions about the Greatest Tryout Ever

Q1: What sport was the greatest tryout ever for?

A1: The story of the greatest tryout ever transcends specific sports. It is a symbolic event that represents the pursuit of dreams and the power of determination.

Q2: Were there any notable success stories from the tryout?

A2: Yes, there were individuals who stood out during the tryout and went on to achieve remarkable success in their respective fields.

Q3: Where and when did the greatest tryout ever take place?

A3: The details of the greatest tryout ever are intentionally left vague to emphasize its symbolic significance rather than focusing on specific details.

Q4: How does the story of the greatest tryout ever inspire others?

A4: The story serves as a reminder that success is attainable through determination, irrespective of circumstances. It encourages individuals to pursue their dreams and embrace the opportunities that come their way.

Q5: Can the lessons from the greatest tryout ever be applied to fields beyond sports?

A5: Absolutely. The lessons of perseverance, embracing diversity, and seizing opportunities are universal and can be applied in various aspects of life, including education, career, and personal growth.



The tale of the greatest tryout ever stands as a testament to the human spirit's capacity to transcend limitations and achieve greatness. It is a story that resonates across generations, inspiring individuals to believe in their dreams, persevere through challenges, and seize the opportunities that come their way. The narrative serves as a reminder that within each of us lies the potential to create our own defining moments, regardless of the circumstances. As we reflect on the lessons imparted by the greatest tryout ever, we are reminded of the boundless power of determination and the beauty of embracing diversity on the path to achieving our aspirations.




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