Charles P. Pierce Has Fired All The Bullets In His Fancy Word Gun

Here's a really fancy writer, using a lot of complicated words, to write a really hand wringing, soul searching story about how awful, professional tackle football is. Miasma. Queegish. Ameliorate. Oh, so smart you are. Please tell me how dumb the rest of us are for loving football....
Think of all the illusions about the National Football League that the revelations of a bounty program in New Orleans shatter. Think of all the silly pretensions those revelations deflate. The preposterous prayer circles at midfield. The weepy tinpot patriotism of the flyovers and the martial music. The dime-store Americanism that's draped on anything that moves. The suffocating corporate miasma that attends everything the league does — from the groaning buffet tables at the Super Bowl to the Queegish fascination with headbands and sock lengths while teams are paying "bounties" to tee up the stars of your game so they don't get to play anymore. What we have here now is the face of organized savagery, plain and simple, and no amount of commercials showing happy kids cavorting with your dinged-up superstars can ameliorate any of that.

Which is why Roger Goodell is going to land on the Saints, and on their coaches, as hard as he possibly can. It's not so much that they allegedly paid players to injure other players. That's just the public-relations side of the punishment to come. Goodell can see the day when one of these idiotic bounty programs gets somebody horribly maimed or even killed, and he can see even more clearly the limitless vista of lawsuits that would proceed from such an event.

We may well be reaching something of a tipping point in our relationship with our true national pastime. Football was always a deal we made with ourselves. We adopted it for its brutality, which was embedded in a context that happened to be perfectly suited to television and to gambling, but which we could convince ourselves was only incidental to our enjoyment because it was only incidental to the game itself. But the players got bigger, and even the unsolicited hits got louder, and the damage to the athletes soon became too obvious to ignore.
Okay, should you say it, or should I? Charles Pierce, just shut the f*** up, already.

Football players know their sport is full of risks. They get paid handsomely to participate. And they can goddamn QUIT any time they please and go work a nice safe desk job for the rest of their life.

The notion that we are somehow savagely running entire generations of our best and brightest minds into a meatgrinder of irreparable harm is just bullshit.

We're not.

And since when did it become fashionable to start rooting like mad for bullshit lawsuits? I've never seen anything like it. "Ohhh, just wait until you see the lawsuits!" Screw the lawyers. Most of them are going to waste their clients money, and lose their ass in front of a jury.

Everyone brings up the unfortunate handful of guys like Conrad Dobler and his 11 knee surgeries. Hey, I got news for ya. Dobler was a malicious asshole himself on the field, who once BIT the finger of Vikings opponent Doug Sutherland.

So fuck Dobler and his knees. Nobody told him he had to play 10 fucking seasons in the NFL. HE CHOSE TO DO THAT! What a dick. What's next? A lawsuit saying the NFL didn't properly advise players about how utterly shitty knee operations were in the 1970's?

All this dribble from people saying how mommies and daddies aren't going to let their kids play football now, may be somewhat true at the comfortable suburban level. But who cares? Those kids generally suck. There's absolutely ZERO chance that an inner city kid who can run a 4-fucking-nothing 40, who loves the attention and hot chicks that playing football brings in high school, will allow his mommy or anybody take his football from him.

Ditto for the farm boy lineman in Iowa, who grew up running a tractor at dawn at 9 years old, for a dad who is 78 and still working from sun up to sun down. That kid might have had his head kicked in by an unruly horse. That kid is always going to play football.

If we need more legal documents and waivers of liability. Done and done.

If pro players want to sit themselves down for 4 games after every concussion, go ahead.

We're going to make much better helmets. All levels of football will crack down on intentional helmet shots. And there will be a concussion policy, and an understanding by everyone who plays: you can walk away any time. But you know the risks.

Everything else, we can stitch, tape, fuse, or re-attach.

And we are going to play awesome, hard nosed, smash mouth, blow-that-fucker-up football from now until we're over-run by Communist China.

That, or the singularity delivers us even better Robot Football.

Until then, Charles P. Pierce and his ilk, should be banned from ever watching another football game. Put your eyeballs and TV set, where your weepy heart is, pal.



 Charles P. Pierce: Unleashing the Arsenal of His Literary Firepower



In the world of journalism and commentary, there are writers who not only inform but also entertain and inspire. Charles P. Pierce is undoubtedly one such wordsmith, known for his eloquence, sharp wit, and unapologetic style. Over the years, he has fired literary bullets from his fancy word gun, leaving a lasting impact on readers and fellow journalists alike. In this article, we will take an in-depth look at Charles P. Pierce, exploring his background, his distinctive writing style, notable works, and answering frequently asked questions (FAQs) to provide a comprehensive understanding of this remarkable writer and commentator.

The Man Behind the Words
Charles P. Pierce, often referred to as "Charlie," was born on December 28, 1953, in Worcester, Massachusetts. He graduated from Marquette University with a degree in journalism and began his career in the world of sports writing. Over time, his writing evolved to encompass a broader spectrum of topics, including politics, culture, and social issues.

Journalistic Journey:
Early Career: Pierce started as a sportswriter, covering events like the World Series and Super Bowl, honing his skills as a writer and commentator.

Widening Horizons: His career took a significant turn when he transitioned into political and cultural commentary, becoming a regular columnist and contributor for prominent publications.

The Distinctive Writing Style
Charles P. Pierce's writing style is unmistakable, characterized by several key elements:

1. Wit and Humor:
Pierce is known for infusing his pieces with humor and wit, using satire and clever wordplay to engage readers.
2. Profound Insights:
Beneath the humor lies a depth of insight. Pierce tackles complex issues with nuance and thoughtfulness.
3. Fearless Commentary:
He does not shy away from taking a stand. His commentaries are unapologetically opinionated, often challenging the status quo.
4. Storytelling:
Pierce is a storyteller at heart, weaving narratives that captivate readers and make even the most complex subjects accessible.
Notable Works
Charles P. Pierce's body of work is extensive, covering a wide range of topics. Some of his notable works include:

1. "Idiot America: How Stupidity Became a Virtue in the Land of the Free":
In this book, Pierce explores the rise of anti-intellectualism in American culture and politics, offering a scathing critique of the "dumbing down" of public discourse.
2. Columns for Esquire:
Pierce has been a longtime contributor to Esquire magazine, where his columns cover subjects from politics and sports to pop culture and literature.
3. Boston Globe and Beyond:
He has written for various publications, including The Boston Globe, providing his unique commentary on significant events and issues.
4. Regular Radio and Television Appearances:
Pierce is a sought-after commentator on radio and television, where he brings his insights and wit to a broader audience.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What are some of Charles P. Pierce's most memorable quotes?

Pierce has delivered numerous memorable lines, such as "Stupidity, especially in its nastiest forms of power, is usually the beginning of something bad."
Has Charles P. Pierce won any awards for his writing?

Yes, he has received accolades for his work, including the National Society of Newspaper Columnists award for best online column in 2018.
What topics does Pierce frequently cover in his writing?

Pierce covers a broad spectrum of topics, including politics, culture, sports, and social issues, offering his unique perspective on current events and societal trends.
Where can readers find Charles P. Pierce's work?

His columns and articles can be found in publications like Esquire, The Boston Globe, and on various online platforms where he regularly contributes.

Charles P. Pierce is not merely a writer or commentator; he is a literary force who wields words like a masterful marksman. Through his sharp wit, profound insights, and fearless commentary, he has left an indelible mark on the world of journalism and commentary. Whether dissecting political absurdities, unraveling cultural complexities, or celebrating the power of sports, Pierce's words resonate with readers, challenging them to think critically and laugh along the way. In a media landscape often dominated by noise, Charles P. Pierce stands out as a wordsmith who has truly fired all the bullets in his fancy word gun, leaving a lasting impression on those who have had the privilege of reading his work.




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