If It Dies, You Should Hang 'Em High!

By now, you've probably heard about the fucking redneck idiot Alabama fan, who decided to use industrial grade tree-killing herbicide to (probably) fatally poison the iconic live oaks that frame Auburn's Toomer's Corner.

Excuse my language, but this asshole really deserves the death penalty.

No, really.

I'm no granola-eating-tree-hugger, but I do love trees. And when some moron poisons a tree that took God and nature 130 years to make - just because of a football game! - and then has the stupidity to CALL IN TO A RADIO SHOW TO BRAG ABOUT IT?

Well, that guy is so stupid, he's clearly a menace to both his immediate neighbors in the trailer park, but also a general drain on the human gene pool.

If there was any justice, he's hang from the highest branch in that tree, or serve the 130 years in jail for the age of the tree he just destroyed.

Meanwhile, I sit on my porch and look at 5-6 sugar maples and zelkovas, that stand a decent but not yet magnificent 12-18 feet and think: "I'm gonna be an old codger before these look anything close to magnificient."

Execute this prick and do the world a favor. Or if nothing else, go to a nursery and price out a replacement 60-foot live oak, fully installed, and charge it to Alabama's football program.